Okay, before you jump to conclusions, it wasn’t me setting off those ridiculous bombs in Bangalore on Saturday. When I said I’d make an impact, I didn’t mean it this literally. So, what did I mean? Well, all I can say is that its just a few days away and you’d be quite a joke if you missed it. No, I have absolutely nothing to do with this farce called IPL.
I think I’ve managed to make some headway in my search for Raj. Though he doesn’t know it and though he might be reading this, he wouldn’t know I’m talking about him, his days are all but numbered. Oh, I hate him so much! The only reason I started this blog is to drive him out of his lousy rabbit-hole and force him to face me. I think he’s got an inkling. His life may be flashing before his eyes as we speak.
Anyway, the weather was so awesome today – just the kind of feel-good precursor I need before I reveal myself. I stopped everything and stood in the drizzle for ten minutes, forgetting all. Its unbelievable what a few hours of rain can do to a revenge-filled mind. But, the rain stopped and so did my musings. I’m back on track, hating Raj and being involved in the full-fledged preparations for my revelation.
Old faithfuls, new hopefuls, here I am again. I’ve been harping about revealing myself in February – well, that didn’t happen. Well, I won’t disappoint you any more. April it shall be. The month of Amusement and Admiration. Er, ignore the corny adjectives. What I mean to say is that I am back in town and I am going to rock your lives more than ever this summer.
The heat wave was intensely powerful as I stepped off my plane last night. I’ve been cruising around the globe, trying to find Raj, the scum of the earth, and teach him not to meddle in my life. Turns out, among his other nefarious talents, hiding is one. I couldn’t find him, but rest assured, I will. And when I do, Bangalore and the whole world will see. And experience. And talk about it for a long, long time.
Can’t really say how much longer now. It should be any day. When I reveal myself, you will be astounded. There is more to life than a heat wave and commercialized cricket. You’ll see.
Wait. Watch. And Learn.
It’s true, I’ve been running high on paranoia the past few days. Whatever I do, it seems that there’s someone on my heels all the time. There are doors that are left open and I’m sure I’ve locked them. There are books left astray on the shelf and I’m quite meticulous about them. There are numbers stored on my phones and in my dialed lists – numbers I’ve never seen in my life; numbers that don’t exist when dialed.
I have a pretty good idea what’s happening and I’m sure who’s behind all this. It’s time I introduce you to this man called Raj. He’s a self-obsessed sonofabitch who’s done me no good. He’s a living breathing example of scum. I hate him from the bottom of my heart, and I thought he was dead. I really thought he was dead! It would have been good riddance! Now, I’m sure he’s back, and he probably wants to get even.
It’s been quite a lean 18 months for me, without a challenge. I guess now that Raj is back, I’m getting more and more excited, as each day grows. If you’re reading this, Raj, you can go screw yourself. Where the hell are you, anyway? If you are after my money, you need to show yourself. I never thought subtlety was your forte.
What the eff is happening? I wake up this morning in my hotel room to find my bag missing. Not that it had anything interesting, but it did have my passport and other such trivial documentation. I find the chairs moved around a bit and the shower dripping water steadily when I distinctly remember turning it off and shutting the door. Mind games won’t work with me. I think I know who’s behind this.
Anyway, its good to see that people are reading this blog some. It gives me a chance to tell the story of this person I’ve been dying to tell. Give me a day to find out where the fuck my bag went and I’ll reveal certain things that certain people would kill me for. Maybe this whole hotel-room-burglary is kind of a message. If it is, then I don’t get it.
Bangalore’s been peaceful – nothing major happening. I read on the news that some exam had to be postponed/cancelled because certain computers weren’t working. Big surprise there. If this is the biggest news right now, I can’t imagine what people will do when I reveal myself!
I got something called a trackback in my email, where this guy’s written about how some people think I’m him. If only life were that simple – I cannot be some mediocre guy writing toilet humor, folks. I’m larger than life itself, and there’s nothing that can be said or done about it. It’s just the way it is. Right now, I’m paranoid and I can’t help it.
I’ve been on a flight for the past fifteen hours, and as soon as I stepped out into the Bangalore airport, my first thought was – “I have arrived!”
I looked around at the people and saw only guinea pigs running inside an endless wheel, and felt more than pity for them. There are quite a few things I’m good at, and spending time pitying other people isn’t one of them. I moved on to collect my things, thanked the captain and the first officer for their patience, and climbed into the waiting limousine parked at the foot of the stairs. Private hangars are never hard to come by if you can dig deep enough into your wallet.
I think, perhaps, mine was the only limousine on the roads of this city yesterday. If you saw it, you probably got a glimpse of me too.
It’s been close to 18 months since I’ve been to Bangalore. Last time I was here, I had to leave suddenly due to certain events I’d rather forget but can’t. To come back to this place seems a bit foolish at first thought, but then, tying up loose ends is one of the things I’m good at. I have to do this, no two ways about it.
I am in Bangalore. I have arrived to make a difference in your lives, people. Watch out, and watch this space. Your lives are going to be changed in more ways than one.
I’ve been quite busy, trying to make sure that I’m on the right track in the blogosphere. Every blog I have visited so far, it’s been an unhealthy mix of self-hatred, revulsion, childish logic and toilet humor. Is this what blogging is meant to be? In that case, I should just give up.
On the other hand, I should feel a bit proud of myself for having garnered a few comments on my very first blog post. In an ideal world, I should be thanking you guys for taking the time out for doing it. But, as they say, pressure into volume is never equal to a constant multiple of the temperature. If you know what I mean, you won’t frown at this statement. So, I forgive you.
Revelation – that’s the glory road I’m traveling right now. Pretty soon, I will be in a position to reveal myself and show the whole world who I am and what I’m made of. I’ll leave the judgment of my greatness to you all once that happens. Just a few months more, I guess. February, to be exactly vague.
If you do prefer to take wild guesses at who I am, here are a bunch of clues to help you in your investigation. All these statements are true. I do not lie.
- I have never blogged before and I don’t intend to, after I reveal myself.
- I am a pioneer of sorts – there has been nothing like me, ever. Even by writing these words, I am making history.
- I am not a mortal human being – I’m sure you’ve realized that already. I am special in more ways than one.
More later. I need to go get some fresh air.
Okay, here’s the deal, folks. Without mincing words, this is my first time. Yeah, a blog virgin I am. It’s about time I took some advice seriously. Any advice. Thirteen times yesterday I was told to start a blog, fifteen the day before and if I had to count the number of times in the whole month, I’d take up a career in accounting.
“Get blogging, man,” was the mediocre one and, “With the kind of gift you have, you should be out there, telling people your story!” being the more verbose one. These are just opinions, I’m sure, but some of them went into the not-so-laconic hysterics and literally begged me to reveal myself – to express my views and opinions, to take birth in the vast, over-populated expanse of the internet that is so astronomically called the blogosphere. I heeded.
Whatever happens here, I’m quite certain I’m going to enjoy it. So, what does it mean, to have a blog? Come on, give me a few of your opinions and let’s compare them against my archaic notions. I am The Successor, and I’m here to make a difference.
Who the heck am I, you ask? That’s the point, isn’t it? No one knows. I have half a mind to reveal myself sooner or later, but if I do, I’m afraid certain events will happen that will make The Big Bang seem like a slap against the thigh, all puns intended.